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Blank Canvas
by L. McGill

Alana looked into the bathroom mirror and knew she was ready for a lesson. She'd been a painter for so many years that facing the blank canvas every day was like facing her own reflection--and she was becoming more and more unhappy with what she saw there.

She pulled her once-golden hair back from her face. "Look at that," she said aloud, examining the deepening furrows.

She walked down the hall to her studio and sat at the small drawing table at one end of the room. She looked into the scale model of her studio that her children had made for her. It had large windows, and an easel with canvases, just like hers, stacked against the wall. There were tiny brushes and tubes of paint, and even, a miniature copy of the pencil holder her youngest son had made for her years ago. Alana noticed a cobweb in the corner of the model, with a tiny spider spinning her web between the easel and the window-frame. "I've got lots of cobwebs to clear away!" she said to herself, as she turned to her canvas and set herself to the day's work.

It was a large canvas--the same canvas she'd been staring at for the past two days. She began to think she'd go mad if she couldn't break through. Above her easel she watched a spider slowly lowering itself down a strand of silk to land on her untouched white canvas. Alana didn't notice exactly when it was that the spider began to speak:

"You'll never paint again," the spider said. "You never could paint to begin with! The people you used to hand around with, they like sentimental art. They want to make you feel talented, but really it's a disease. Alona, you're a sick woman. There's really no hope for you. Give it up; leave it to those who know."

"Yeah, like who?" Alana replied, "Who are these people that know so much? And how is it possible that suddenly the whole reality I've lived in can be destroyed in a single moment?"

"It's called Death, Alana," the spider responded. "You remember what death is, don't you? Or have you forgotten about that too?"

"What else have I forgotten about?" Alana was a little dreamy in her speech at this point.

"Exactly," replied the spider.

"Look. I don't know who you are, or what you're doing here, but I want you out of my house. I want you to leave me alone, I want to wake up from this nightmare."

The spider was filing her nails. "It's my job to keep you from painting what you came here to paint."

"Great. That's just great! Don't I have any say in this?" Alana was at the point where she knew she would begin to throw things. The spider siad nothing more. she stared at the white canvas until late afternoon, then made supper.

That night, Alana slept in her studio. She curled up on the floor by the easel and fell easily into sleep. In her dream, the spider left her web and became a dark haired woman wearing a black evening dress. The spider's beauty was so striking that she captivated Alana's husband, put spells on her children, moved into her house and took over her life. Alana couldn't speak, couldn't paint, couldn't do anything but stare at the canvas. When she woke she ran to the bathroom mirror to see, she din't know what. Apparently, nothing had changed. She went back into the studio and faced the canvas.

"Good morning, Alana." A dark haired woman stood behind her, wearing a black dress. "I am Elena. Thomas and I are taking the kids to the city for the day. Have fun with your painting," she laughed and left the room.

"This is getting disgusting," Alana said.. But it only grew worse. Day and night Alana became more and more haunted by the dark Elena and how she was destroying every aspect of her life.

Alana knew what she must do. She decided that she would have to kill the spider Elena, to destroy the nightmare she'd been dreaming the past few weeks.

That evening, her art instructor, Everest, dropped in. She was grateful for the visit, and the chance to relay the events of the past frightful days. Everest listened; looked up at the blank canvas.

"Before you kill the spider, paint it."

"I'm not sure that I can paint anything. why paint the spider?"

But later that night, she painted the black spider. Whimsically, she added a ruby necklace around the spider's neck. She put her brushes down and went to sleep.

That night she dreamt of a beautiful forest full of deep green trees. she climbed the trees up into a golden veil of light streaming through the branches. There she found Elena the spider in her delicate gossamer web.

"Hello Alana. I knew you would come," Elena whispered.

"Why did you bring me here?" Alana breathed softly.

"Because you needed to see this."

"I have some work to do," Alana said, beginning to climb down the tree.

"Yes," Elena agreed. "And by the way, thanks for the necklace."

The next morning, Alana looked into the bathroom mirror and with laughter shook as she inspected her reflection. Around her neck a ruby necklace was painted with vermilion acrylic. She fitted a new white canvas to her easel, and sat down. She began to paint the deep green forest she had visited in her dream. Beside her on the drawing table, the miniature model of her studio was fully lit. The tiny spider web in the corner was gone.

- END -

Copyright 1998-2001 -- L. McGill All rights reserved
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