For weeks I've followed him, always just behind him, always just out of his reach with our baby by my side. It is the baby he does not know we have - born only a few weeks ago while he was gone. I did not understand it when he said he must leave for a time so many months ago, so many nights away.

His name is Hector - a noble name- a hero's name.

Swimming through black swampy water I make my way blindly into the jungle further and further. It is dark and I have been traveling all day long, half running. Many days have passed.

Earlier I had run into a group of aborigines who claimed to have seen a traveler pass by only hours before. The description fit Hector's perfectly. Their directions sent me to the swamp and onto the forest.

Now the air around me is chilly, ominous. I stumble every few steps from the thick undergrowth of the jungle. Huge treeps loom above me as I weave in-between the dense trunks. I imagine the trees are alive, inspecting. The vegetation is so thick and endless and seems like a barricade. I can only cut through small patches with a knife the aborigines have me. Forest creatures peer at me blinking in wonder. Their night eyes are fluorescent, amazed at my hurry. I haven't the time to pause in my journey. I must go on. I must continue dispute my weariness. I must go foreword.

Sometime later I reach the end of the forest and step out into brightness. The morning is upon me a I am again full of energy, hopeful, vibrant, alive. Hectors face is clear in my mind, so happy, so secure. I drive on.

The baby cries but I persuade it to be quiet.

The going is easier in the clearing but after a few steps it seems the ground beneath me starts revolving in the opposite direction of my travel. as if a gravity change has taken place. I feel light footed and bound foreword running, covering the ground in giant strides, making up for lost time. I barely notice the tiny flowers shrown about the countryside. I barely notice passing a small stream, the water tinkling as it flow around tiny rocks near the waters edge. I barely notice the sweet breeze caressing the grass, buoyant, carefree. I am again racing, intent.

Suddenly I slow down feeling the hot sun overhead. The sky is white. I know I need cool air. I know I need a drink. I know I need a rest.

The terrain slopes upward and I find myself nearly climbing. My legs are heavy. The ground is rocky and jagged and my feet slip. I gasp for air. A mountaintop is just a little further on. I have to push myself to reach it, for Hector's sake, the baby's sake, for our sake. I am desperate as I reach the top. Momentarily I am blinded by the sun, dizzy from the struggle.

When I straighten up and adjust to the heat I can hear my heart beating within my chest. Then I finally see what is before me- an endless dust bowl. The sand is blowing, skipping across the ground like a thrown rock bounces across the top of a pond. A bird in the distance flys soundlessly away from me until it is so far away I cannot see it anymore. I wonder if it knows where it is going. I wonder if it has a home. I wonder if it is lost in the desert, so huge, so overwhelming.

Them I see something that jerks me to senses. At the bottom of the hill lies Hector's traveling hat. I scramble foreword, rushing to get at it. In my confusion I trip and fall. Sand gets in my face and in my hair and in my clothes as I finally slide to a stop. I am too weak to move but I feel the hat in my outstretched hand and hear the baby cry just as I drop into unconsciousness.

Much later I wake up. The first thing I notice is a low sucking sound coming from inside my inner ears. The sucking sound is barely audible. Then a low moaning noise surfaces from somewhere deep within the recesses of my mind. With a sudden snap both sounds come to an abrupt stop and I seem to be lifted out of my strange slumber.

When I open my eyes I find I am no longer in the desert where I fell, but in a semidarkness. Then I notice that there is no wind, no movement of any kind. The silence around me is erie. Pulling myself up I feel thin and know that I have aged. I seems a long time has passed since my fall down the sandy hill, possibly years.

Looking about I see that I am on a flat summit of granite in the middle of nowhere high above everything looming in out space.

The sky is empty and dark and unearthly. I wander over to the edge which is like a cliff and peer over the side. Below me lurks unending space. I am trapped in a surreal world.

Then in the distance I see stars forming in the blank sky. At first I was confused and thought my eyes were adjusting to the darkness. It occurred to me that the stars were forming at that very moment in time. They were in groups. Some were elliptical and some were spirally shaped. Each group had smaller clusters within them and each group belonged to another larger group. They were all expanding outward.

Then I remembered that is took light years for projections of such occurrences to reach other galaxies. Had the formations actually taken place eons prior to this time reality to be able to reach the point at which I was now standing?

It was then I somehow realized I was indeed looking down upon the entire universe. It seemed impossible and incomprehensibly vast. Was I witnessing the beginning of all creation? Could I, a mere human being be allowed to experience such an incident? Was I suspended outside of time, away from reality? Had God put me here for a reason?

When I turned around Hector was there in front of me.

I tried not to gasp.

I could tell there was something strange about him, something different in the way he moved. He was wearing his usual blue jeans and tee shirt- attire. However I could not bring myself to embrace him as much as I had wanted to before.

His hair had thinned and his smile was not what I remembered. Tiny lines around his eyes and mouth indicated that he had also aged. Even in the semi-darkness I could tell his once brown eyes were blue and he carried himself almost mechanically, a man taller than my Hector. I was torn between pretending to know him and turning him away. It seemed my worst fears were before me- a Hector I did not know, a dream gone bad, a hope gone sour. I was confused and felt paralyzed. I did not move or breath in my fear of this stranger.

"Where have you been my dear?" He said, looking at me with a sickenly fake smile, a degrading mimic. His voice was wrong, unfamiliar. Someone else was in Hector's body, some foreign being trying to imitate the Hector I once loved, the father of my child.

Then he reached toward me, pleading for my embrace.

I was speechless, unable to respond. When I did not move to him his manner turned sinister. His fake smile faded. Suddenly he lunged toward me like a madman, grabbing for my neck, an evil sprit out of control.

With all my strenght I twisted him away, pushing down, avoiding his blows. He stumbled backward, unsure, losing his stride. For a second he balanced on the very edge of the summit, horror in his eyes as he looked over the edge into oblivion, his arms flagging. For an instant our eyes met as he looked toward me. I wondered if he was the demon I had suspected or the lover I once knew.

Then he slipped down into the darkness and was gone. The air was empty where he had stood.

I sighed in relief and felt puzzled yet oddly content, my burden gone.

As if to bring me back to my senses the baby let out a low cry and I pulled it to my breast.